Eddie Howe’s Accidental Entertainers guarantee goals – at both ends of the pitch

By / / Sports / 6 minutes of reading


Last season, Eddie Howe’s transformative effect upon Newcastle United drew deserved comparisons with Kevin Keegan.

Yet the control, compactness and identity which defined his side have faded. To borrow and bastardise a moniker bestowed upon Keegan’s much-lauded side, Howe’s team of 2023-24 have become the Accidental Entertainers. And that is not something Howe will view positively.

For while Newcastle have scored an impressive 59 goals in 28 games — the joint-fourth-most in the Premier League and a 28.2 per cent increase on the same stage of 2022-23 (46 goals) — they have shipped 48. That is more than double the 20 they had let in by this stage last season.

Top-flight matches involving Newcastle this season have averaged 3.8 goals, which is the second-highest rate by a team in a Premier League season. Only Brendan Rodgers’ Liverpool in 2013-14 (4.0) have averaged higher.

Neutrals who want to be guaranteed goal-fests should tune in for Newcastle. Not that Howe is courting casual observers of Premier League footballers; he wants to win matches and do so in an aggressive, dominant style — something his unpredictable team is struggling to achieve.

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(Serena Taylor/Newcastle United via Getty Images)

When Howe declared after the disorderly 3-2 defeat against Chelsea that, “We’re clearly going through a difficult period defensively,” that represented a massive understatement.

Newcastle have now gone 11 league away games without a clean sheet — letting in 28 goals — while the 32 goals they have shipped this season draws Howe’s team level with bottom-of-the-table Sheffield United for most-goals conceded on the road.

Nick Pope, the club’s first-choice goalkeeper, played the first 14 matches of the league campaign and he let in just 14, only conceding three or more goals once, keeping six clean sheets in the process. In the 14 matches since Pope’s shoulder injury, Martin Dubravka (and Loris Karius, for one game) have conceded 34, let in three-or-more goals eight times and kept just one clean sheet.

Since December 3, due to the personnel unavailable and the effect their absence has had on the balance of the side, Newcastle’s defensive solidity has crumbled. Howe’s team are allowing their opponents more shots (16.6 per match, up from 11.6) and efforts on target (7.3, up from 3.8) — and greater quality of chances, shown by the dramatic increase in expected goals against (xGA) per game from 1.02 to 2.53 — than they were early in the season.

“That’s a total reversal from last year when we had the joint-best defensive record in the league and we were so resilient,” Howe said of the away goals shipped statistic. “We had a feeling that we weren’t going to concede. That now has changed to a feeling that we might concede. But I back us to come good.”

Certainly, Newcastle are capable of keeping clean sheets. Not only did they have the league’s joint-meanest defence last season, they conceded only four goals in nine home games before Christmas, while they also recorded a shutout against Wolverhampton Wanderers.

But the manner in which they allowed their goal to be breached on three separate occasions and in three contrasting, if equally bad, ways at Stamford Bridge was as maddening as it was pitiful.

“The three goals were as poor as we’ve conceded,” Howe said. “We sort of killed ourselves with self-inflicted wounds.”

Inside the Newcastle dressing room, they described Nicolas Jackson’s sixth-minute opener as a “gift” they merely handed Chelsea. Sven Botman — who had another chastening outing — failed to clear a Malo Gusto cross properly, finding Cole Palmer outside the area. Palmer had space to shoot, Jackson flicked out a leg, wrongfooting Dubravka and putting Chelsea ahead.

Although some fans questioned Howe’s claims that Newcastle did “lots of good things”, they had pressed high from the off and were unsettling the home side, only to allow their goal to be breached in such meek fashion during Chelsea’s first attack.

The second concession was equally error-strewn. Dan Burn sliced a clearance for a throw deep inside the Newcastle half, Chelsea took it, were afforded room and Enzo Fernandez fed Palmer on the right-hand edge of the area. Despite four players being around Palmer, none got close enough to stop his shot, which fizzed through Botman’s legs, beyond Dubravka.

For the third, a by-then gung-ho Newcastle were playing with such a high backline that Chelsea had acres to play through balls into. Raheem Sterling should have scored before Mykhailo Mudryk eventually did — Burn thwarted the England international on the line — but Botman, the midfield and Fabian Schar were culpable for Chelsea’s last goal on transition.

“I loved this team last season, but the way they defended was not acceptable,” Jamie Carragher said on Sky Sports. “This is an average Chelsea team, let’s not forget.”

What puzzled many supporters was that, having set-up his side to defend deep and counter-attack against Wolves to such success, and having almost won playing that way at Stamford Bridge in the Carabao Cup in December, Howe reverted to a high-press approach.

The head coach may counter that, until Chelsea’s second, Newcastle were not especially open defensively, even if Burn was repeatedly targeted, with Anthony Gordon’s concerning first-half knee injury leaving the left-back further exposed. The goals Newcastle conceded were more about individual mistakes, rather than constant Chelsea pressure.

And the first of the two excellent goals Newcastle scored actually came from stealing possession high upfield, allowing Bruno Guimaraes to futsal-roll the ball to his left before drinking through for Alexander Isak to curl a sublime right-footed finish into the far corner.

Newcastle’s second was a cracker of a different variety, an edge-of-the-area thunderbolt from Jacob Murphy.

Howe stressed that, across the 90 minutes, as throughout the past few months, Newcastle were “inconsistent”. That word encapsulates what this team is right now: a mercurial mid-table side who deserve to be 10th.

Carragher’s assertion that Newcastle, “look like a team almost ready for the end of the season,” feels harsh and premature.

The reality is they are capable of so much more, although they have not shown that on a sufficient-enough basis this season. If they want to secure European football, then they need to discover some stability in their performances.

More urgently, if they want to avoid a hammering at Manchester City and keep their FA Cup dream alive, then Howe and Newcastle simply must find a way to dramatically shore up their defence.

After all, nobody really wants to be the Accidental Entertainers.

(Header photo: Alex Pantling/Getty Images)





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Ronda Baker is a news writer who specializes in arts, automotive, travel, and fashion. She has been writing since she was a child, and her passion for the written word has only grown since then.

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